Loading ...By: BC Woods
I was twenty-one and barely a man when the horror came. It has stuck with me to this day, a dark spirit that looms over my shoulder whenever […]
Original post: The Worst of All Possible Vaginas
By: BC Woods
I was twenty-one and barely a man when the horror came. It has stuck with me to this day, a dark spirit that looms over my shoulder whenever […]
Original post: The Worst of All Possible Vaginas
No amount of apologising or sympathy will ever relieve you of that kind of horror, BC, but I feel for you. Must surely have ruined your sex life forever.
Since when V posts articles written by other people? And why? Can somebody please give me an update on this?
Oh, God. How nauseating.
BC- That story has so much potential and it deserves more than your faltering attempts to turn it into art. All you ended up doing is breaking your story at awkward places.
V.- If you aren’t going to write updates for your own page, you could at least find a decent stand-in.
Either post or don’t post, but quit outsourcing! If I want to read BC Woods or Wide Lawns, I’ll go to their blogs myself! I go to VA to read stuff by V; if she thinks something by BC is so compelling, let her post a link to his site instead.
Jian, there’s always the theory that it’s her blog and she can do whatever the hell she wants with it.
You’re fucking useless.
Wow, maybe she’s busy and wanted to give you hangers on something insteresting to read in her absence rather than just not post.
Ever think she’s… you know… trying to be *nice* to you people?
I didn’t think it was that bad.
I agree with #6. This is a no-brainer. Vi would be the first to give you the finger and tell you if you don’t like it, go boink yourself.
My personal suspicion is she put this blog on for the same reason she writes things herself. Because it suited her at the moment.
A lot of bloggers use material from others if it appeals to them.
Actually, who cares why she put it there. Its free, you can look or not look as you so desire, its not a pop-up all in your face.
Having said that, the story was atrocious. The writer not only isnt all that good, but he doesnt seem like much of a person to me. He seems like a sniveling coward and takes a rather unpleasant tone concerning the young lady in question. I mean, if you werent attracted to the girl, there are many ways to let her know that, including being straight up. He is also a bit of a pussy, in my estimation. I mean, I am willing to bet that most of the people here have seen ‘Tubgirl’ either by being tricked of from morbid curiousity. And if youre a guy with internet, youve seen all sorts of porn, on purpose or on accident. Its sad that the young lady can only see herself as having value by being an immediately available fist-hole. But I am more sad that the writer couldnt find himself to be more kind, either in deed or recollection.
Gay people dont bother me and many gay men I have known or worked with have confused that with being willing to have sex with them, which is incorrect. I am not angry, or offended by it, truth be told, Im a bit flattered. But I correct the misconception and go on about my day. If the story were a proper recollection, it should have ended sometime around the point that the young man in question realized that there was a possibility something unwanted might occur. I realize that would have taken some balls, but thats kinda what I would expect from a post on this site.
What exactly was the point of this story?
I really like Mojonixon’s comment, but the up/down thumb thingy keeps telling me the comment doesn’t exist… WTF? Anyway I’m giving it a +1.
As for those complaining about a guest post, you really need to get over yourselves people. Guest posting is not exactly a novel idea, it’s been done before, to the joy and benefit of all involved. I for one followed the link and found BCW’s site, which I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Clearly the site author was too busy to come up with a post of her own, why don’t you do something useful while you wait? Mow a lawn, walk a dog, do some laundry. Write something yourself and I just might come over and read it. Bitching about a guest post seems unproductive to me.
Mojonixon –You’re right; He’s a pussy and she had a large, smelly one. ;D
But, really, some people can’t take hints. At least he was (albeit too late) going to finally confront her about his suspicions of her lusting after him.
Thanks for a disgusting visual, B.C.!
I find B.C. amusing, but much prefer V’s own entries. That said, I don’t care if she posts an entry from someone else every now and again, since it is her blog and all.
Dunno, not even sure if its the hint thing. I see the woman as the victim. I cant imagine the twists and turns that brought her to that place. Maybe that was the highest accolade she knew how to accord . Yeah, thats kinda fucked up, but thats the point. We used to make fun of people for being fat and smelly. Actually, that used to be me they were making fun of (IKIAFP). So fast forward 13 years from being 8, and you make fun of someone for being smelly and fat?
I dont think we need to kiss anybodies ass here, or even not be honest, but teenage hyperbole doesnt tell a story, its a Dane Cook monologue. I could think of a dozen ways to tell that story, each of which would merely be variations on the esteem in which the various characters were held. Its not that he doesnt have the right to write it, nor it to be posted on VA. But Jr High fish humor? And its needlessly cruel. Lots of things are cruel and regrettable, but I will take that over cruel and avoidable yet not avoided any day. I readily admit to being brutal, I hope to god I can avoid cruelty as much as possible. Theres a difference. The same kinda difference there is between a warrior and an armed punk.
dude, it’s just a story.
Dude, its just a bad story, is my point…
Well, I mean, you can do one of two things:
a) Cry about it.
b) Get over it.
Oh wait, three things.
c) Read something else. But still choose between a) and b).
Yes, Mary. We know that, Mary. Some people have chosen to post criticism- you know, that option to talk with other people about it if you feel like (the one you rather shortsightedly forgot to include). Interestingly enough, if you don’t like it, you can choose between “a” and “b” with the additional option of fucking off and doing/reading something else (your “c” but with a nice twist).
Ok, Mary?
Sorry to be applying the spurs to a dead horse, but I was thinking further just about the title of the essay itself. Not sure if you know what a ‘vaginal/anal fistula’ is, but it is as bad as it sounds. Its a huge problem now in the Darfur region, and women are being systematically shunned, killed and otherwise going through a living hell because if it.
So maybe that would be the situation to claim the title given this essay.
And to Mary, I enjoy VA because it provides me material to contemplate during my day. Most of the essays are thoughtful, open and well written and are a good source of literary fiber. While I readily admit to having cried upon reading some of the posted essays, this one isnt one of them. Maybe I am needlessly bitching and/or commenting, but it seems worthwhile to at least attempt some form of discussion about the topic at hand.
My 2 cents….
I guess Ziah has chosen option d) Be a complete fucking cunt.
Nice choice.
Discussion is welcome.
“OMG, this is sooooo bad! OMG! What a terrible story! VA you suck!” is retarded.
Mary-
Ooooh, burn! Which do you want to be, the pot or the kettle?
How is it more constructive to spend your time chastising people for daring to making critical comments than it is to make a critical remark about something? I see a lot of people telling others to “get over it” or “scroll on by” if they don’t like something they have read. What stops you from doing the same thing with comments you don’t like? Do you see how stupid it all is? Bitching at people for daring to suggest a post on Violent Acres is anything short of spectacular makes you look like an ass-kisser. If you were hoping that your loyalty as exposed by your supportive comments will make V contact you and suggest mutual masturbation sessions (or some such) because you’re just so damn cool, forget about it. It’s obvious that ass-kissers do not impress her.
You’re calling me a meanie? Why do you read Violent Acres?
Ha. You got me. You win.
Critical comments are welcome in my opinion, as I stated. “OMG! If you’re going to have stand ins pick someone worthwile! If I wanted to read BC Woods I would go to that site! OMG!” is retarded.
I never called you a meanie. I called you a cunt, after you responded rather cuntily to something not even addressed to you. You can either
a) Cry about it
b) get over it
c) skim past my comments.
Love and rainbows!
Mary
i guess i just don’t see why people are getting so wound up about a story.. and whining that v didn’t write it. it’s funny, though. keep up the good work!
You can repeat yourself! How cute!
Don’t worry, all of my points will wait right here should you ever wander back through and feel like digging for them. The good news here is that they are really not that hard to find. Good luck.
Someone else’s opinion is not retarded simply because you disagree with it. You may have to wait until after you grasp my previous points before attempting to wrap your head around that one.
La la la. I’m not listening.
Oh oops Mary, I didn’t realize only, ahem, positive comments were allowed on this site. In that case I can give my teenage son a call, and for a nice fee he’ll write a script that posts “Ooooh, that was awesome, best post ever” say a couple hundred times under different names in the comment section. Would that be good enough for you? Of course this kind of defeats the purpose of commenting, but hey, who cares.
Ooops, Goldie, I’m sorry you didn’t realize that this is my opinion, which I’m posting, and that I didn’t like the nonsensical “OMG this is sooooooooo bad” comments.
I’m also sorry that you didn’t read where I said discussion is welcome but bland retarded nonsensical “OMG this is soooo bad” type comments (in my opinion) are not. In my opinion.
Did I say this was my opinion? I think I did.
By the way, let me add that I have no problems with constructive criticism. Regular baseless criticism (omg omg that was sooo bad) in my opinion is stupid and pointless.
Notice, Goldie, both you and I are of the same opinion that “bitching about a guest post seems unproductive…” I think non-constructive criticism is unproductive. Thus, you and the other one weren’t included in my above comments (#16) which begs the question… why, again, are you both yanking my chain for posting my opinion on a post your opinion site?
And, with that, I’m done arguing with some strangers on the internet. Unproductive.
Why are you yanking people’s chains about their comments and then having little fits when we yank your chain about yours? Your opinion has so far involved trying to control what other people say. That is why we are responding to it even though you didn’t direct it at either of us (though we don’t need a reason other then we felt like it). It doesn’t matter if you find the comments nonsensical and unproductive or not. It is their right to post their opinion about it just as it is your right to post your opinion about it. I’m trying to point out to you how ridiculous it is for you to tell people to “get over” a post they don’t like when you could just as easily “get over” a comment you don’t like. Why are you yanking people’s chains about their comments and then having little fits when we yank your chain about yours?
But you aren’t listening, right?
Not to be blunt, Mary, but it seems that you’re wasting valuable bandwidth that your hero VA happens to be paying for.
I did not see one comment here that said “omg omg that was sooo bad” or whatever. Could you list the ones you were replying to? Further, your comment came after ##9 and 13 which IMO were constructive enough to be posts in themselves. (Srsly, if any of you guys have a blog, I’ll come over and read it.) I’m going to stop here, because this is getting ridiculous really.
Goldie,
Thank you for the compliment, both the posts are actually mine. Was a slight mix up on logging in and blammo, I had 2 different names.
Truth be told, I just kinda discovered the whole blog thing recently and once I can figure out how to set one up, I most likely will. At 10 pages of screed a week, I probably have a couple of months worth of essays on tap. I would probably blend it in, rather than dump them, but I do enjoy writing in the essay format. I used to be the kind of dweeb that would show up at the Portland Press Herald weekly editorial board meeting, probably still am.
I dont know why you all read VA, or how you found it. I found it by accident and read it because it was good. Not necessarily the sentiment in all cases, but at least the writing and the viewpoint were worth the read. So I was kinda being a whine ass and explaining that the piece in question was disappointing on a few levels. You dont have to get a hit at bat every time, someone who fucks up 7 times out of 10 is probably the National League batting champion. One, the writing style was stilted, juvenile, with vocabulary to match. Not what I expect, really. Even when VA talks about being a child, from the viewpoint as a child, you can still see the past and present sophistication bleed through. Even and perhaps especially where its not pretty. The way this story was written had me expecting that it would end up being a story about what an asshole the author was.
Secoond, I am not sure what the actual point was. Did this guy just buy stock in a douche company and want to start some underground viral marketing campaign, by reminding women that hygeine is important? A page about how a cruel boy made fun of someone else for common schoolyard failings. Yeah, VA has pointless rants as well, but if you read them, youre not disgusted by the author as a person, but wondering what Art Buchwald would look like and write like if he had tits. This piece didnt give me that. I had my skin crawl and wondered how hard it would be to suppress my desire to harm this boy, were I to ever meet him. Thats NOT knowing that he wrote it, either. Something tells me the guy that wrote this is the same kind of guy I cant stand in real life. I dont do violence anymore, but there was a time where closing violently with the enemy was usually option 2 or 3 on the flow chart. There is still a type of person that can make me feel that way, and I have a strong belief that this kid is one of them.
Third, not only is it a lie, but even worse, its not a terribly interesting lie. Id like to just state a few things, not as wolf tickets or boasts, but to tell you why I believe the whole thing to be at best a dramatic embellishment, which would be an extremely generous assesment. But the work would be one of fiction, not fact.
I hav e had a long standing interest in women and in having sex with them. I started a long time ago and have been pretty active in that field since. I have also been to Med School, so I have delivered babies, done all forms of prenatal and womens health exams and had infections disease patients. The only way I could know more about the vagina is if I had one, and Im not going to ever take it that far. But if you think about the logistics of fist-sex and the other life complications that vaginal odor of that magnitude would pose, the story is pretty much bullshit. If she worked out on rigs with some oil company, shes riding out there, in a truck most likely, with others. If your pussy smelled that bad, you could certainly smell it yourself. I dont know any sane woman with a day job that actually wants to smell her pussy in an enclosed space. Or, wants her co-workers to smell her pussy in an enclosed space.
The logistics of fisting are pretty rough too. Fisting, or any kind of serious penetration requires vast amounts of lubrication. Know where youre never going to see as a fisting porn shoot site? The beach. Im guessing that tool sheds in the desert are probably not sought after sites for fisting either. Ever tried it ladies? Getting a fist around that corner, either way, is pretty tough to do. Thats why usually when you see fisting, its someone doing it to someone else. Thats just how the angles work out, unless youre Nadia Comenichi or her modern equivalent, you arent going to make it happen. Hell, 2 fingers inside are tiring to sustain for long periods (5 mins). This boy has never seen it happen in real life, he has only observed it on fetish porn video. Also, what kind of woman thinks that the way to attract a man is by shoving a fist into her pussy? Sure, theres a tiny % of the population that do get off on that, but what kind of message is that to be sending to someone youre attracted to? Sure, I can fit this whole fist inside me, but Im sure I will be more than satisfied after with your maybe 6 in penis! Contorted, grunting with a watch band obscured by pubic hair isnt anyone’s idea of being seductive, except in the mind of the author.
So yeah, I called ‘bullshit’ and have been a bit suprised by the vehemence of some of the responses. Not sure I would call someone a ‘fucking cunt’ unless I was planning on rolling their dead body up in a carpet in the next 5 minutes. I dont know how this game is played and what the customs of the tribe are, but I am looking forward to hanging out.
Thanks MN, good read. I found VA through my 15yo son, and started reading it because naturally I wanted to learn more about a site my son was interested in. He finished reading the whole thing in like three days. I’m still working on it. I don’t agree with everything V says, but I find her posts extremely thought-provoking and I like that. Thought is always good. She does write well, too. I haven’t usually been able to read through a long post, must be adult ADD or something. V is one of the few authors on the ‘Net that can actually hold my attention.
Hmmm, come to think of it, the part about the fisting did strike me as odd. Who would ever try to impress a man by basically telling him “I have a huge vagina”? Aren’t guys supposed to like the opposite. But I guess you can never tell in the oil fields. I’ve gone over to BCW’s site and read more of his stories, and some are IMO really good. Plus he says he was a geek in school. Boy, can I relate.
Goldie
2, 4, 5, 10, and 15 were the ones that got my panties in a wad.
So if all you have to offer is non-constructive criticism, then you can rest assured I’m going to snark about it. If all you have is basically (not word for word) “omg! why is Va guest posting! If I wanted to read BC woods I’d have gone there, what a crappy story” etc, then I’m going to comment about it.
I do have a blog, actually. And I rather like yours. Now I’ll just sit back and wait till Ziah accuses me of once again kissing ass.
And, Mojonixon, no I don’t have anything personal against you even though I took issue with your comments.
Mary,
As far as any concerns for my psychic well being or my feelings towards you arent necessary. I dont know you, will never meet you and anything short of ‘Assault with a Deadly Weapon’ is unlikely to have an effect on me. The simple fact that you read on a regular basis, puts you in the top 10% of Americans. Compound that by filter selection via this site, and I imagine were far more alike than we are different, etc. Its sort of a ‘family’, I am the creepy uncle wearing cut off shorts and a comb-over. I am impressed that you both have a blog and would love to find out where they are and read them some time (and hit you up on how to do it myself!).
But having opinions, real opinions, requires understand and belief both. If I were to tell you why I liked an article, it would be almost an exercise in narcissism. Detailed analysis of a positive nature is a form of hubris, if its good, people can see for their own damn selves unless theyre getting a grade for it. In a negative review, youre in an argument with at least one person, the author. So having supporting ideas and concepts is important to giving your point validity, even if others dont agree with the point. People that can successfully (me not thinking theyre a complete idiot) argue the anti-abortion question with me, without tripping off my ‘Race, class, religion and gender’ sensors, have a valid point. And express it well. But even tangling with a well thought out belief you dont hold sharpens your mind and thinking. Heaven forbid if someone was actually able to change your mind or broaden your view, I say. But thats the whole point. In a discussion, you are not only trying to share what you know or believe, but you are soliciting the understanding of others engaged with you. If youre going to say somehting sucks, or is wrong, or the like, you have a responsibility to at last be able to elucidate your reasoning. If you cant, you are just a puppet with someone elses hand jammed up your ass, wiggling your lips.
No hard feelings, look forward to reading your blog sometime!
Awwww, group hug on a VA comments site! Who woulda thought? LOL
Mary, I see now it was a miscommunication issue and yes I see what you mean now and I more or less agree. Next time you may want to elaborate on who needs to “get over it” and why ;) Glad to hear you rather liked my stuff, thanks!
Mojonixon, if you click on mine or Mary’s name, the link will take you to our blogs. I will now go hide behind a rock in fear VA may smite me for peddling my blog on her site. My email address is on my site, shoot me an email or leave a comment if you need more info on how to set up a blog. Good luck.
Goldie,
Done and done, prevat druggan! Would it suprise you if I told you I have a strong affection for Russians? You might not appreciate some of the details, mind you, but I am friends with probably 50% of the Russians in a 5 mile radius. My SO is presently trapped in St Petersburg, the clock is running to her 205 Finnair flight back to Boston for Wednesday, doesnt look like she will make it. Doesnt matter shes a PhD on a J1, doesnt matter she had her paperwork into the consulate 3 weeks in advance, doesnt matter that changing flights will cost her (and her 2 children) 1k.
Sigh…
LOL Wow, that’s some fluent Russian. Good luck with the flight!
Would you look at this? We have our very own circle jerk going on, right here.
This is a discussion of an essay of this title, not an audition.
The human brain has a marvelous capacity for self-protection. Victims of horrific atrocities often find that their recollection of events is murky due to the unconscious suppression of memories. BC claims that his brief visual encounter with Heather’s naughty bits caused a level of revulsion that haunts him to this day, yet his eye witness account contains more graphic detail than an episode of CSI. It’s also worth noting that the brain can protect itself by denying the existence of feelings one cannot bear to acknowledge, for instance, the carnal desire for forbidden (or possibly rotten) fruit? Writing an entire essay on being grossed out by something gross? How did Shakespeare put it, “The lad doth protest too much, methinks.”
I’m not sure if you’re accurate, Armchair Psychologist. I’ve seen plenty of horrific things in my day and can recall them in almost perfect detail. I can recall certain events in my life with stunning clarity as though a reel of film was playing in my mind.
What I think is that our brain protects us from things we aren’t prepared to see, but I think perhaps the level of curiosity already in BC’s mind regarding the female form and even perhaps a morbid fascination with this woman (I, for one, am fascinated by the obscene, and many others are as well) led him to thus “prepared” in a way to be able to recall the event with almost perfect precision.
For instance, I’m fascinated by trauma. Were I not, my first rotation in the emergency room (I’m a nursing student) would possibly leave me a shivering spaced out mess, unable to see the wounded and learn from their injuries. If I didn’t have an interest or a curiosity or a fascination with traumatic injuries, then perhaps my brain would be as you say and leave each patient coming into the ER a blurred amalgam of blood and crisis with little to no distinction because of the protections initiated by my brain. However, since I’m predisposed towards having these curiosities, I’m not scarred or shocked by what I’m seeing. And yet, I’m still sure I’ll be shocked and haunted by some of what I see (and have already seen).
Applying this to BC, what young straight man do you know *doesn’t* have fantasies or fascination / curiosity BOTH with women and with gross-ness?? I know plenty of people BC’s story age, and they want nothing more than to peruse Live Leak for Boil or botfly videos and have a stash of playboy in their underwear drawer. I think BC is able to recall the events with such clarity because he already had a fascination with it, like any other young man, so his brain didn’t go into self-preservation mode.
At least, that’s how I see it.
Mary, I believe you just proved my point. As you eloquently stated, a horrific scene isn’t automatically a source of trauma to someone who is either prepared for what he might see or actually wants to satisfy his own morbid curiosity. In fact, as you point out, young men often go out of their way to find scatological material that they gleefully send to each other, ratchetting up the level of (supposed) disgust with each new link. So, are we to believe the author’s tale of an unsuspecting victim traumatized by a vision so nauseatingly gross that the memory of it horrifies him to this day, or do we secretly suspect he got a little adrenaline thrill out of being shocked? Maybe he even found it strangely exciting or (gasp) enjoyable. I’m betting that the mere thought of that last possibility is the true source of revulsion in this story.
It would have had to be had he remembered it in detail. I guess I misunderstood you.
I for one would have been disgusted, but probably enthralled and thrilled all at the same time.
I enjoy the obscene, disgusting, morbid, and shocking.
ArmChair Psychologist:
“So, are we to believe the author’s tale of an unsuspecting victim traumatized by a vision so nauseatingly gross that the memory of it horrifies him to this day, or do we secretly suspect he got a little adrenaline thrill out of being shocked? Maybe he even found it strangely exciting or (gasp) enjoyable.”
For someone who goes out of his way to want people to understand how smart he/ she is, (Love the username, by the way. I should change my name to Reclining Astrophysicist so people will think my theories on black holes and higgs bosons carry more weight, even though your theories on suppression are rejected by mainstream psychology anyway rendering you an annoying douche on a blog’s chat site) you really aren’t using your head. Yeah, those two suggestions you quoted could be true, but there is also the third possibility of…oh, I don’t know…it being a story meant to entertain, and the whole “It still haunts me to this day,” line may simply be exaggerated for comedic effect. Whether you think it’s funny is irrelevant. It’s funny how that part seems to have slipped your mind, or maybe you were taking the story seriously when you felt the need to prattle off like some kind of pseudo intellectual twat.
Keep taking those psych 101 classes at your community college. Maybe next time you’ll pass! YAY!
Reclining Astrophysicist, I served with Martin Rees, I knew Martin Rees, Martin Rees was a friend of mine. Reclining Astrophysicist, you are no Martin Rees.
No you didn’t, all I did was let you jerk me off, and you sucked at it.
Cut your nails next time, Community College dropout.
One of my earlier points was, that the sort of ‘humor’, if you would call it that, was of a drama queen 8th grade variety.
And, that being true, why would anyone be suprised to see where the discussion has been taken?
Move along, there is nothing to see here…
Reach for the stars!
So she took everyone’s money and ran huh? Not surprising in the least.
Wrong. There were a lot of problems with getting the money to the crisis center which is why it’s taking so long. But from what I’ve heard they have the money now and are writing a letter to the “Violent Acres Readers”.
Where are you, VA??
(… waits for the “Right above North Carolina but below Maryland” comments….)
Wow…
I never thought so many sandy vaginas would be posting in a blog about vaginas.
Some people really need to get a hobby, or learn to masturbate to relieve some of that tension.
Awwww, how cute. Anonymous trolls flinging insults. Warms my cold, black heart.
Great story for stroke magazine’s “Readers’ stories” section.
But more importantly: Where the heck is VA with her writings?! Don’t pretend you have a life. Come on! Write!