Comments on: VA: Quick and Easy Child Support Reform

By: liz

liz — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 17:39:25 +0000

Speaking as a single divorced parent of two who works two jobs for which I am horribly overqualified, earning a mere pittance, I am offended at the assumption that my ex should not be paying child support.
He and I chose to have children together, and in doing so he chose to be responsible for them , but then he changed his mind and he chose to leave for greener pastures thus shirking his financial and emotional obligations to said children. He would like all the benefits and accolades associated with being a dad, with absolutely none of the responsibility.
I have spent the last seven years defending my children and myself in court and out. I have shouldered the full burden of their emotional and physical well being, and made every attempt to provide the best care for them that is humanly possible. This I have done on my own, with amazing support from friends. I have been victimized ( and through this my children too are victimized) each time I attempt to better my life and that of my kids, my ex husband creates a full scale war usually in court, thus causing financial hardship in my children’s lives. He is never happier than when I am poor and struggling.
It is because of my personal experience I have to disagree with your no child support stand. My dream is to some day not have to rely on the support, that I can do it on my own and sock away the child support that I sometimes receive to help with the kids education, or something of the sort.
In an ideal world, two parents love and support each other and the children they bring into the world. Until we have and ideal world single parents be they male or female need all of the help they can get.

By: blulink

blulink — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 13:59:19 +0000

if i could do a slow clap over the net i would.

I am a “victim” of the child support system and all it benefited me was realizing my father was a good man who tried and was failed by the system. and Knowing my mother was a lazy b***h who manipulated a lot of people just so she could stay LAZY.

Because of this i know to keep my peenie in place but since i have been reading VA i have tried to get Men to stand up for themselves.

it is sad to hear the beat-down-bird-dog statements from most but some still try.

V, I might not be bright enough to fuggur out your address but if you read this, know you helped a lost soul realize he was not as alone and lost in the world as he thought he was. peace to you and yours and many thanks.

By: d

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 00:25:25 +0000

It’s ridiculous to assume that one custody/financial aid arrangement would work for all people.

I agree that the courts should not be so quick to grant full custody and tons of money to the mother based on her motherhood, but I do not agree that no financial support should ever be demanded of any party.

Ideally, I think that a court should not be where custody is determined. Parents SHOULD be reasonable enough to work that out between themselves. Personally I count myself very lucky in that respect. My parents got along despite my father ditching my family to have another three kids with a 20-year-old girl in a foreign country. They never said anything bad about each other and never went to court, even though my father only paid child support for two months.

By: bryarcanium

bryarcanium — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 20:42:58 +0000

My only issue with V’s philosophy on this is that humans, as a species, aren’t really set up for this.

If you looked at the animals where individual parents successfully raise offspring, the adults of the species are usually entirely solitary throughout adulthood, except for mating. The major adaption of social animals is that they are social- i.e. if they fail, their offspring do not simply die, but are supported by the larger network of a society.

An extreme example would be arguing that bees shouldn’t reproduce because the Queen can’t care for all her offspring on her own, so the colony is doomed to fail. Obviously this is not the case, as bees and other hive/colony species exist and thrive.

By: Colin

Colin — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 18:38:40 +0000

> What would you do if your ex-husband died?

Live on the insurance, d’uh!

By: zeitgeist

zeitgeist — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 04:54:26 +0000

The solution: DON’T HAVE KIDS!

By: Stina

Stina — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 02:52:39 +0000

I think this is pure comedy if only for the reason that my mother and I were discussing the exact same thing this evening ^.^

We both work for the child support office and we were both are in total agreement with V. Too bad very few others in this area don’t feel that way -.-

By: allrightythen

allrightythen — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 00:10:02 +0000

Guessing Bobbi Jo must not be using the child support in full accordance with the Gospel According to Little Cindy Lou Who? Christ, what *must* it be like to feel helpless against someone being so unethical and unfair. Can someone give the state of PA a shout?

By: Meg

Meg — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:50:30 +0000

Please don’t give these people ideas, VA! Now you have them all thinking, “Oh, that’s a good point. What if my ex-husband dies? Let’s updated the support laws that says our ex-husbands MUST purchase a large life insurance policy with us as the beneficiary!”

By: Voyeur

Voyeur — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:01:28 +0000

Traditionally, it takes 2 people to make a baby. They are both responsible for raising the child. Food, shelter, and clothing should be the very least that is provided for the child until the child can make their own way.

Would you take your dog and drop him off next door, then, tell your neighbors that you’ll be by from time to time to play with him. Meanwhile you’ll not pay a cent for the food the dog eats or any of the bills that are required to be paid to keep the roof over his head or the grooming, medical, training, etc?

I don’t think that’s right. You took the responsibility to own the dog. You are now that dog’s provider.

Same with children, you spread your legs or you nailed that chick. You are responsible for the outcome.

There are the same amount of women who abuse the system to soak every last dime out of their ex as there are the men who think they are benevolent and giving every time they see fit to grace their child’s mother with a paltry support payment whenever she calls up and begs for help raising their son.

She doesn’t want to go to court to force the father to pay as she thinks it’s important the child has a father in their life and doesn’t want to do anything to make him not want to see his son.

Sound like V is graced with a system abusing woman.

I’m a step-father to my fiance’s son. I’m grace by a dead beat father. The kind of deadbeat who, after 10 years of not having to pay child support, (despite receiving his son’s mother begging & pleading phone calls or his son’s mother taking on 4 jobs to cover the bills, or having his parents support his son instead of him) tried to claim bankruptcy when he was finally taken to court to pay support.

I’m an advocate of both parents being responsible. The woman wasn’t the only one there the night the child was conceived.