My mother could have been V’s mothers twin. In fact Id ask my grandmother about a secret second baby if she were alive. My childhood was the same freakshow horror as V. So YES people do live that and no, not all gorgeous Barbie doll blondes are great mums.

To me raising my small children in the most loving way IS my ultimate vindication. Its a big FUCK YOU to my mother who swore she was right in the terribble things she did to us and we would do the same when we had children. My own mum wasnt a SAHM , she worked and very successfully at that. She was a monster and dirty slob at home.

My mother who was such a evil woman and lives and breathes by what her coworkers think of her and see’s her children as the same way Paris see’s her purse dog; just little accessories to do with whatever she wants or do nothing with.

The world sees a pretty, blonde, petite , wonderful person who works and is so caring. We saw a screaming, raging, punching, kicking, master manipulater, lunatic that tortured us. Well only I see; my sister killed herself when she couldnt handle raising her child.

Im sick of people acting like they are demi-gods and know everything about the motive of everyone and trying 2 make me feel like crap for not living the life THEY would have chosen for me.

I dont think , ” Hey V, you made a bunch of screwed up choices and you should immediatly go get pregnant so you can experience motherhood they way it should be but according to MY opinions.” And I wouldnt because the truth is I dont get a vote on how anyone else should live their lives. I genuinely dont feel judgement against working mothers because a woman more fullfilled in herself through her career will be a better mother to me.

But right now I feel more fullfilled in being the mother to my kids I always wish I had had.

That being said I also do enjoy gardening, reading, learning, teaching my kids, sometimes writing .When my kids are older I want them to work with the community and participate in charity. You’ll catch me at a library with my kids far sooner than any Mommy & Me bitchfest where the cats shred each other to pieces.

I do have goals for the future that include going back to school when my kids are a few years older and maybe even owning my own business one day.
I dont want to be 60 and wondering where *I* disappeared to in all the diapers and games. I dont want to ONLY be remembered as ” She sure made a great pie and had a passion for Mums.”

Id just like to enjoy the place I am in right now without getting crap from people who dont live my life, know my past or have a clue about my future plans. Sometime I think articles like these make people feel like they have more of a right to be ugly to each other.

Its not like V’s mum baked her cookies, took her to the library, cuddled and adored her. No, V was terrrorized, abused in unspeakable ways and tormented by the bitch for years. I dont care what anyone says ; V has been jaded.

For someone who was NOT raised by a loving mother or one who even really loved her she sure has alot of shit to talk about mothers who do love their kids .

Yes, Mommy bloggers are annoying and stupid. Yes, some women pop out kid after kid and neglect them as they wallow in filth in front of a tele. But not all mums at home are like that. And some mothers who work outside the home are fucking heartless bitchs who are horrid mothers who work because they HATE being near their kids. Should all mums who work be painted with that brush …

And my only response is, “Hey, only one of us had the consideration to practice birth control so you can fuck off.”

Ok I know that was a rant not connected with wasted potential, but I’ve got gripes…

Yes, we have a percentage of spoiled, middle class, stay-at-home mothers clogging up the commute every morning in their SUVs as they drive the 300 or so yards to school to drop off their precious cargo but they are the exception rather than the rule and frankly even they would balk at having a bumper sticker declaring “Proud Mum of a 4th grade honours student” or “Proud Football Mum”. Even they know they would be sunk in a sea of cackling derision from their peers that all their artificially-inflated mammaries and peroxide highlights couldn’t keep them afloat in. And the football-playing, 4th grade honours student kid would spend the rest of his school career in an agony of embarrassment and finger pointing from his peers. Of course UK kids are sometimes honours students too and they do play football or have dance lessons or are wizzes in the chess club but, while we mothers volunteer and go along to cheer etc, it does not become the be all and end all of our existence or an excuse for the warped, vicarious oneupmanship it seems to be here. UK women are proud of themselves because of their OWN achievements not their kids’. They don’t let hard-won educational and professional qualifications or workplace experiences all go to waste once they become a mother. They know that being a mother is only part of what they are, they can continue to forge their own way in life whilst simultaneously rearing their children. They know their children are not accessories or extensions of themselves, but individuals in their own rights and the real duty of a mother is to make sure her children will one day be able to successfully follow their own path as independent adults.

You should have heard the howls of horror and protest I got from American stay-at-home mothers I know (my UK friends and my own mother applauded my decision wildly) when I first decided to leave everything behind and come here to marry an American man I met during our mutual travels a few years ago after my divorce. Not so much that I planned to emigrate but because I was leaving behind my children. I’m a terrible mother, abandoning my poor, helpless offspring to their fate while I build myself a whole new life 5000 miles away. And how can I bear to be parted from them anyway? For those who might imagine I abandoned two mewling infants on the orphanage steps and fled the country, the fact is my children are 23 and 18. Yes I love them and yes I miss them but I also have a life to lead and a right to find happiness while they are getting on with their own lives. The older one hasn’t lived at home beyond a few weeks here and there since he left to go to college at age 18 and is happily cohabiting with his girlfriend, doing well in his career and is in possession of a passport, directions to the nearest airport and a credit card with which he can buy a plane ticket to come and vist me any time he chooses.

My younger son chose not to accompany me – he may come here to settle in the future since he likes what he sees of life here - but to continue his post-HS education in the UK. He is not out on the streets left to sink or swim but living with his father and is surrounded by other family and friends nearby. That said, he is legally an adult and if I have done my job right while bringing him up he should not need to be wet-nursed by me or anyone else and would laugh in the face of anyone who suggested he was somehow incapable of fending for himself. He has flown out here twice for extended visits, is due to make another around Christmas and we keep in touch by phone and email. Like I said, they have lives of their own and I provided them with the lifeskills necessary to pursue those lives successfully and happily (maybe I should get a bumper sticker “Proud Mum of two healthy, intelligent, well adjusted and independent men”) and they are happy for me and proud of me for pursuing my own life and not living vicariously through them.

I might of missed something, but I don’t think I saw any “feminists” complain.

that made me chuckle

Good points, good post. T’would be something if men, women, and all them he/she’s did some truly neat shit.