This erroneous belief that once a problem is identified, you have the ability (and responsibility) to change it, comes from pop American psychology that is superficially formulaic in its approach…and thus, a big, fat lie!

Take for example (among many), a wonderful young lady who has been violently raped, and is in constant danger of another attack, even death threats. She is stalked, she lives in terror 24/7, and also has a little baby to protect, who she dearly loves. But the police can’t or won’t do much to protect her from such horror, and her younger brother was already brutally tortured as a warning…and he will remain a retarded vegetable the rest of his life. Her last apartment was ransacked and burned, as yet another warning.

Multiply this ugly scenario a million times over, and you have a good reason for depression…a very good reason…a reason shared by many, many Americans who were unfortunate enough to be born into such a violent society.

This essay shines a ray of hope, that’s for sure. But to assume this ray will brighten most people in difficult straits, is false. It will only help the lucky few.

It is ironic that I find myself often defending my lifestyle and choices to my family on a regular basis; yet at the same time, I seem to be the individual with the least amount of stress and depression in his life.

Those individuals whom I know that are often the victims of depression usually are in that condition due to some situation in their life that they deem ‘hopeless’. Their job or financial situation. A loveless marriage. Screwed up kids. Etc. Not to say one should avoid jobs, marriage or children to gain eternal happiness. But I do find it interesting that virtually all cases of depression I have seen can pretty much be categorized as being caused by one of those three reasons.

I think our society has driven in a set of conditions that individuals must meet in their lifetime to be considered ‘complete’. Career. Marriage. Children. (Usually in that order) But the falacy in thinking is assuming that all those things are universally good for all individuals.

For many, life is not simply about stepping through items on a checklist; it is a voyage of self discovery. And in my opinion, if you find yourself depressed or stressed on a regular basis, there is a strong likelihood that you are tasking yourself in things that you really would prefer not to do. And much of that is likely due to pressure from family or spouses.

I know that in my life, the most liberating experience that I had was when I simply said ‘no’ to family and friends when they continually attempted to dictate how I should run my life. While it was difficult at first, they eventually came to the realization that I was my own person and neither needed nor sought their advice.

Not to say that my life is completely depression free. Like everyone, I have my good days and my bad days. But that is simply part of being human. And frankly, the number of ‘good’ days I have FAR exceeds the number of bad days in my life. I have come to many cross roads in my life and made decisions one way or another. For better or for worse. They all don’t work out as expected and not always for the better. But so long as they were my decisions, I never felt depressed or stressed. If things didn’t work out, I would smile and shrug and then move on.

In the end, I think it is important for people to understand that if they don’t like something about their life, they need to change it or take steps to mitigate the negative emotions that stem from it. But popping pills or continuously seeking the advice of psychiatrists should ONLY be considered short term fixes. If you find yourself needing to see a psychiatrist once a week for years on end and at the same time taking prozac regularly to get through the day, you are not living life, you are merely trying to escape from it.

The GP reaches for the prescription pad, armed with little more than information from pharmaceutical sales reps and foggy remembrances from the few hours he or she spent studying brain chemistry and psychopharmacology while in medical school.

It is disturbing to know that SSRI-type antidepressants are handed out so casually without any unequivocal understanding (or proof of) how they work.

To say that depression is always caused by ‘low serotonin levels’ (which antidepressants supposedly address) is intellectually dishonest. Simply because no test exists to measure serotonin levels, nor is there a ‘gold standard’ test which identifies what a ‘normal’ serotonin level is.

Cruise around in the alt.suicide.holiday or alt.support.depression newsgroups and you will find two common denominators - virtually everyone posting there reports being depressed and having a life that sucks.

The desire suicidal, depressed people have to end their lives is driven by emotional pain that outstrips coping skills, plus having no practicable solutions to their problems beyond pills or talk ‘therapy’.
Clearly, the depression came second, not the other way around.

I would wager that if you could deliver practical solutions to solve the problems these people report, they might not be so quick to take their own lives.

Thank you for pointing out the real reasons for sadness: it goes something like this. I’m 16, Christian, male, in love with another boy who comes from a conservative Christian background, and closeted. As if this wasn’t sucky enough, I found out last year that he’s moving across the country this August. So now I feel like I’m on a fucking time-limit, trying to determine whether or not he feels the same way as I often think he does, or whether it would ruin our best-friendship if I told him how I felt. This is why I cry myself to sleep once a week, not because of some psychological complex or because I don’t share my feelings or because I have some chemical imbalance. It’s more like because there’s this person who I could spend the rest of my life with and who I love so much, and I’m not allowed to be with them. In the meantime, I’m trying to follow Christ but the polar ice caps are melting and people are dying of AIDS and all our national administration cares about is cash and power.

I maintain the belief that everything will turn out alright, but I can’t help the sadness. Thanks for writing something that actually speaks this truth.

Get used to it.

The twentieth century is, among other things, the Age of Noise. Physical noise, mental noise and noise of desire — we hold history’s record for all of them. And no wonder; for all the resources of our almost miraculous technology have been thrown into the current assault against silence. That most popular and influential of all recent inventions, the radio is nothing but a conduit through which pre-fabricated din can flow into our homes. And this din goes far deeper, of course, than the eardrums. It penetrates the mind, filling it with a babel of distractions, blasts of corybantic or sentimental music, continually repeated doses of drama that bring no catharsis, but usually create a craving for daily or even hourly emotional enemas. And where, as in most countries, the broadcasting stations support themselves by selling time to advertisers, the noise is carried from the ear, through the realms of phantasy, knowledge and feeling to the ego’s core of wish and desire. Spoken or printed, broadcast over the ether or on wood-pulp, all advertising copy has but one purpose — to prevent the will from ever achieving silence. Desirelessness is the condition of deliverance and illumination. The condition of an expanding and technologically progressive system of mass production is universal craving. Advertising is the organized effort to extend and intensify the workings of that force, which (as all the saints and teachers of all the higher religions have always taught) is the principal cause of suffering and wrong-doing and the greatest obstacle between the human soul and its Divine Ground. — from Silence, Liberty, and Peace (1946)

So what is the 21st century?