There is nothing wrong with gifts, I love to give them, but something demanded or expected isnt really a gift. Its hard for me to get a real gift for my S.O., because even after years of association and admiration, I still have NFI what she really likes. She likes intricate, turquoise jewelry, but when I pointed out a piece that I really liked and thought would be great on her, she gave the fractional shrug and smile I associate with ‘Nice Try’. Then, when she pointed out something she liked, it basically looked like blue-green anal love beads. Long story short, while I would have gladly dropped 100 bucks on the necklace I liked for her, I wouldnt pony up 20 bucks for the one she said she liked. If you give a gift, it should be freely given, out of desire to do so, it should give you excitement and joy to do it. The only thing I ever got from a registry was a saucepan for my brothers wedding. A 135 dollar goddamn saucepan, I might add.

If you want to, do it. If you dont want to go throught the bullshit of receiving, say so. Getting gifts IS an imposition, at least to me. All I want is to have the people around me that I like and be able to swill beer, listen to music and throw frisbee with. If they wanna bring themselves, or friends, or S.O.s, thats great and if they wanna bring a gravity bong or a bottle of Jager or the like, go team.

But if anyone gets me a toaster, Ill scream. But a GOOD belgian waffle iron is another thing altogether….

http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2007/06/13/eco-friendly-birthday-party/

“…read about a woman that orchestrated a puppy-themed party for her child to benefit a local animal shelter. She made dog-bone shaped oatmeal cookies for snacks and In lieu of birthday gifts, guests brought donations, dog food, leashes, water bowls and toys for the abandoned animals. All the kids and especially the birthday boy LOVED it and the animal shelter brought puppies for the kids to play with.”

Love that one! My 4-year-old would LOVE that, although I’m not sure if our local shelter would bring puppies to the party…unfortunately they may see it as a liability.

I think, as a whole, weddings are bullshit. If you’re filthy rich and spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a wedding doesn’t bother you, go for it. But for me, my love for my fiancee can be just as easily expressed (with less stress for both of us) without a massive shindig. Weddings also make no sense for people who are taking out loans to pay for it, or maxing out credit cards.

Before I even broached the subject with my girlfriend, she said that it was ridiculous that people had weddings when they could make major investments. Her exact words were that she would just take a long Mediterranean cruise and save thirty grand. Yes, it’s possible to do a wedding cheaper than ten grand, but it’s still a lot of money that I would rather spend on something that’s not a party.

Baby showers also bug me for women/families who already have a child. Most women who are having baby #1 don’t think to have a baby shower — probably because they’re too busy with other things. I’ve been friends with so many women who wind up never using most of the baby gifts, and sometimes return gifts to get something else.

She’s not being her usual insensitive self.

Why not just write “Gifts are optional”?

Don’t forget that while you might be an adult, your kid just is not. All your awesome teaching them that gifts don’t matter won’t do jack for their self esteem when in school their “friends” tell them that their parents hate them because they give them no gifts or that they are too poor or whatever. These things do happen, and I’d say they pretty much happen everywhere, to everyone.

You are not doing your kid a favor by making him a social outcast. You are making it even worse by telling them that they are better than all those other kids that don’t want to play with him or her anymore.

No, you really can’t. It’s hard to do it for adults, even - I threw a party for my husband’s birthday, without mention of that fact, but people found out anyway and showed up with gifts. Which we didn’t want, but oh well. He accepted them with effusive thanks, because, well, he’d be kind of a dick if he hadn’t ;)

Here’s the thing about wishlists/registries. People absolutely WANT to give gifts, whether from the goodness of their hearts or a sense of obligation, and wishlists make it really easy for them. I love the fact that I can go to Amazon and look up the wishlist for my very hard-to-shop-for brother, and get him something I know he will want. Of course, in that case I searched out the wishlist, he didn’t send me an email with a link or anything.

Now that would be tacky.