Comments on: VA: It Is Your Job To Financially Provide For Your Children. Also, Neglect is Child Abuse. http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/ violentacres.com feedback site Fri, 29 Aug 2008 04:58:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Goldie http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-11722 Goldie Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:57:12 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/2007/05/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-11722 Two points. One, there has to be a golden medium. "Have children when you're young and screw the consequences" may not be the smartest approach, but then again that's not what I see around me anyway. What I'm starting to see more and more around me is "have children when you're financially stable and have enough money in your 401K and have enough money in their college accounts and your house is all paid off". As a result, I come to parents' meetings at my kids' schools and see people there who are old enough to be *my* parents - and they are parents of my children's classmates... Not to be judgmental, but it creeps me out a little. I am sure our children will benefit from our youth and our energy when we have them relatively early on, more so than they will benefit from our 401K and our big-screen TV when we have them at 50. Don't get me wrong; having children at a later age is okay; it's deliberately saving up in order to have children that I find objectionable. Another thing, one exception I'd like to make to V's rule is for a situation when you don't have money *at the moment*, but you know you're upwardly mobile and you will be able to provide for them eventually. As long as you can provide the basics, money shortage is a character-building experience, yes even for the children... You should hear the pride in my boys' voices when they tell their friends, "I was dirt poor once"... They know how to do with less if need be. They also can relate to their peers that are not as well-off financially. As we are heading into a recession, it's good for our children to know that having no money is not a tragedy... it's just money you know. My parents survived the WWII when they were children... Just a thought. Two points. One, there has to be a golden medium. “Have children when you’re young and screw the consequences” may not be the smartest approach, but then again that’s not what I see around me anyway. What I’m starting to see more and more around me is “have children when you’re financially stable and have enough money in your 401K and have enough money in their college accounts and your house is all paid off”. As a result, I come to parents’ meetings at my kids’ schools and see people there who are old enough to be *my* parents - and they are parents of my children’s classmates… Not to be judgmental, but it creeps me out a little. I am sure our children will benefit from our youth and our energy when we have them relatively early on, more so than they will benefit from our 401K and our big-screen TV when we have them at 50. Don’t get me wrong; having children at a later age is okay; it’s deliberately saving up in order to have children that I find objectionable.
Another thing, one exception I’d like to make to V’s rule is for a situation when you don’t have money *at the moment*, but you know you’re upwardly mobile and you will be able to provide for them eventually. As long as you can provide the basics, money shortage is a character-building experience, yes even for the children… You should hear the pride in my boys’ voices when they tell their friends, “I was dirt poor once”… They know how to do with less if need be. They also can relate to their peers that are not as well-off financially. As we are heading into a recession, it’s good for our children to know that having no money is not a tragedy… it’s just money you know. My parents survived the WWII when they were children… Just a thought.

]]> By: Jada http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-11721 Jada Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:15:47 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/2007/05/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-11721 People confuse Survival of the Fittest with Survival of the Most Fertile. The best and brightest of our species tends to be much less prolific than the lowest of the classes, who apparently employ procreation as a means of entertainment. Those who are reproducing at such an alarming rate, ie the stupid ones, have proven over and over again that their ability to survive is directly related to their ability to obtain govt assistance. Or in my neck of the woods, manufacture and distribute methamphetamines. People confuse Survival of the Fittest with Survival of the Most Fertile. The best and brightest of our species tends to be much less prolific than the lowest of the classes, who apparently employ procreation as a means of entertainment.

Those who are reproducing at such an alarming rate, ie the stupid ones, have proven over and over again that their ability to survive is directly related to their ability to obtain govt assistance. Or in my neck of the woods, manufacture and distribute methamphetamines.

]]> By: Cathi http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-11706 Cathi Fri, 11 Jul 2008 21:55:38 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/2007/05/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-11706 Two sorries for being in a good mood - I am in a good mood and wish you were too no apologies, also to whoever was trying to quit smoking in 2007, I hope you are still not smoking - I'm currently on my 5th day of some medication that I thought about 5 months before taking, as I am really antsy about medications. Okay, so I read and didn't see if this got mentioned, but hugs and love don't buy the food, and without food, etc. you will die, agreed. What I am having a hard time with, is why I am writing this when I'll never be back here, and probably few will - if you are, you'll be commenting past July l0,2007. How I got here is that RSM is 'guest' blogging and I had no idea who she was, but read her post, looked at her gorgeous picture, (if she took l0,000, this has to be one of the best) :) and then I realized that everyone who was guest posting had a picture. AND, until I came here, and saw the venom that was written about another human being, and the same one stopped writing her blog ... (and now it all makes sense) I really laughed at what she wrote today, and it was, indeed, about her son, and was beyond cute - talented, I think. Beyond that, I can't help feeling as I write here, that you can start out with all the figures you want. It is now 2008, the U.S.of A. is in a recession according to the news (that is mostly American here) and many of my Canadian friends are now saving madly, and downsizing and waiting for our recession. MY point is this. Many of us could have started out with a certain lifestyle, and great prospects and then, as life happens when you are making plans, a recession hits. And Canada reacts too. I'm happy and going along my merry way. I have a 2l year old son, who is happy and after some seriously rocky decisions, he is doing great. Life can change in a moment, and it does. For good, for bad, and hopefully not for the really ugly. I must say that when you've lived your own particular ugly, and it's better than you could have thought, I do believe that the hugs will do it for me. Cash only, please. Two sorries for being in a good mood - I am in a good mood and
wish you were too no apologies, also to whoever was trying to
quit smoking in 2007, I hope you are still not smoking - I’m currently
on my 5th day of some medication that I thought about 5 months
before taking, as I am really antsy about medications.

Okay, so I read and didn’t see if this got mentioned, but hugs
and love don’t buy the food, and without food, etc. you will
die, agreed.

What I am having a hard time with, is why I am writing this
when I’ll never be back here, and probably few will - if you are,
you’ll be commenting past July l0,2007.

How I got here is that RSM is ‘guest’ blogging and I had no
idea who she was, but read her post, looked at her gorgeous
picture, (if she took l0,000, this has to be one of the best) :)
and then I realized that everyone who was guest posting
had a picture. AND, until I came here, and saw the venom
that was written about another human being, and the same
one stopped writing her blog … (and now it all makes sense)
I really laughed at what she wrote today, and it was, indeed,
about her son, and was beyond cute - talented, I think.

Beyond that, I can’t help feeling as I write here, that you
can start out with all the figures you want. It is now 2008,
the U.S.of A. is in a recession according to the news (that
is mostly American here) and many of my Canadian friends
are now saving madly, and downsizing and waiting for
our recession.

MY point is this. Many of us could have started out with
a certain lifestyle, and great prospects and then, as life
happens when you are making plans, a recession hits.

And Canada reacts too. I’m happy and going along my
merry way. I have a 2l year old son, who is happy
and after some seriously rocky decisions, he is doing
great.

Life can change in a moment, and it does. For good,
for bad, and hopefully not for the really ugly.

I must say that when you’ve lived your own particular
ugly, and it’s better than you could have thought,
I do believe that the hugs will do it for me. Cash only,
please.

]]> By: Greg http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4243 Greg Thu, 24 May 2007 14:28:33 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/2007/05/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4243 V - Great article. This is something that, when I talk about it with my friends, they recoil in horror. I've always wondered how we figured that it was ok for women and men to have another child when they are already on government assistance. It's not at all, and V's right, it takes our society down. Some measures for dealing with that are certainly more extreme than others.... I'm extremely offended to think that people like Jimmy are under the impression that many of us are living on government assistance. The logic is insane. Think about this: at the end of the year, how much did you make, how much did you pay the government in taxes, and how much is left over in your bank account/ mattress? I'd wager most of us here put away 10% if we're lucky. Where did all that money go? That's right, to businesses. It would be interesting if someone did a little research to see how much of our money IN REALITY LAND, NOT LA-LA LAND went to the government. V - Great article. This is something that, when I talk about it with my friends, they recoil in horror. I’ve always wondered how we figured that it was ok for women and men to have another child when they are already on government assistance. It’s not at all, and V’s right, it takes our society down. Some measures for dealing with that are certainly more extreme than others….

I’m extremely offended to think that people like Jimmy are under the impression that many of us are living on government assistance. The logic is insane. Think about this: at the end of the year, how much did you make, how much did you pay the government in taxes, and how much is left over in your bank account/ mattress? I’d wager most of us here put away 10% if we’re lucky. Where did all that money go? That’s right, to businesses. It would be interesting if someone did a little research to see how much of our money IN REALITY LAND, NOT LA-LA LAND went to the government.

]]> By: A http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4229 A Wed, 23 May 2007 17:51:26 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/2007/05/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4229 Jimmy is purposely misunderstanding. I hope. You can't live in the United States or even visit it without benefitting from the "government assistance" as it provides roads, police protection, safety regulations, etc. However, as most seem to have understood, V very clearly meant "government assistance" for the poor - welfare, foodstamps - the stuff that indicate that a person cannot provide for himself and the child(ren) he already has, let alone an extra child. The more financially stable may still take more than they give to the government, but they can still manage to maintain a safe home, buy food to nourish the family, and provide clothing to adequately protect them from the elements. If you can't do those things without an extra handout from the government, you have no business subjecting a child to the same poverty-level conditions. Jimmy is purposely misunderstanding. I hope.

You can’t live in the United States or even visit it without benefitting from the “government assistance” as it provides roads, police protection, safety regulations, etc. However, as most seem to have understood, V very clearly meant “government assistance” for the poor - welfare, foodstamps - the stuff that indicate that a person cannot provide for himself and the child(ren) he already has, let alone an extra child. The more financially stable may still take more than they give to the government, but they can still manage to maintain a safe home, buy food to nourish the family, and provide clothing to adequately protect them from the elements. If you can’t do those things without an extra handout from the government, you have no business subjecting a child to the same poverty-level conditions.

]]> By: Jimmy http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4223 Jimmy Wed, 23 May 2007 14:35:51 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/2007/05/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4223 phood writes "The notion that a person’s contribution to society can be summed up only by measuring their tax bill is reductionist, hateful, nonsense." It IS a stupid litmus test, isn't it? You make a great point about people's contributions being more than money. I hate to be a pain in the ass but I think my point is still being missed. V says, "if you can’t afford to feed, clothe and shelter your children without government assistance, then you are neglecting them." My point is, this "government assistance" litmus test is even stoopider than my "16k a year" litmus test, and a lot of people are running around with their nose in the air thinking, "I would NEVER raise a child with the help of government assistance!" when the reality is MOST of us are on "government assistance" it just isn't called HUD or food stamps. People richer than you are paying your way, to one degree or another. phood writes “The notion that a person’s contribution to society can be summed up only by measuring their tax bill is reductionist, hateful, nonsense.”

It IS a stupid litmus test, isn’t it? You make a great point about people’s contributions being more than money. I hate to be a pain in the ass but I think my point is still being missed. V says, “if you can’t afford to feed, clothe and shelter your children without government assistance, then you are neglecting them.” My point is, this “government assistance” litmus test is even stoopider than my “16k a year” litmus test, and a lot of people are running around with their nose in the air thinking, “I would NEVER raise a child with the help of government assistance!” when the reality is MOST of us are on “government assistance” it just isn’t called HUD or food stamps. People richer than you are paying your way, to one degree or another.

]]> By: phood http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4220 phood Wed, 23 May 2007 04:53:53 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/2007/05/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4220 A couple of points. First, call me irresponsible, but I'm with the "go ahead and have children and let the chips fall where they may school." Few things strike me as arrogant and asinine as the idea that life is some kind of b-school business plan and the team with the best one gets applause from the VCs in the back row. Open your eyes and you'll see that most of the time, most of the world (including Violent Acres and me) is operating at a level slightly above dogs sniffing each other's asses. Life happens. The best parts are not the parts you planned. Instead it's the messy stuff that leaves a lasting impression on you--sex, children, heartbreak, death and loss, hardfought battles that you win or lose, and that time you and your best friend got shitfaced and laughed for hours. In fact, it's impossible to "know" in any meaningful sense of the word that you have enough money or intelligence to raise a child. You can have a best guess. I've known wealthy parents who don't really know how to give their children what they need and poorer parents whose lives were chaotic and unstable but who gave 110 percent love all the time. Life is about risk and the rest is mostly lies. Second, I always pay more than I ever expect to get back from government. I feel privileged that I grew up in a society that put me through college and gave me so many amazing opportunities. The notion that a person's contribution to society can be summed up only by measuring their tax bill is reductionist, hateful, nonsense. A couple of points. First, call me irresponsible, but I’m with the “go ahead and have children and let the chips fall where they may school.” Few things strike me as arrogant and asinine as the idea that life is some kind of b-school business plan and the team with the best one gets applause from the VCs in the back row. Open your eyes and you’ll see that most of the time, most of the world (including Violent Acres and me) is operating at a level slightly above dogs sniffing each other’s asses. Life happens. The best parts are not the parts you planned. Instead it’s the messy stuff that leaves a lasting impression on you–sex, children, heartbreak, death and loss, hardfought battles that you win or lose, and that time you and your best friend got shitfaced and laughed for hours.

In fact, it’s impossible to “know” in any meaningful sense of the word that you have enough money or intelligence to raise a child. You can have a best guess. I’ve known wealthy parents who don’t really know how to give their children what they need and poorer parents whose lives were chaotic and unstable but who gave 110 percent love all the time. Life is about risk and the rest is mostly lies.

Second, I always pay more than I ever expect to get back from government. I feel privileged that I grew up in a society that put me through college and gave me so many amazing opportunities. The notion that a person’s contribution to society can be summed up only by measuring their tax bill is reductionist, hateful, nonsense.

]]> By: e major http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4218 e major Wed, 23 May 2007 00:51:22 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/2007/05/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4218 Could be oversized or "swollen" brains and thumbs that make us so "smart".... ...just throwin' that out there as a possibility. Could be oversized or “swollen” brains and thumbs that make us so “smart”….

…just throwin’ that out there as a possibility.

]]> By: e major http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4217 e major Wed, 23 May 2007 00:17:45 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/2007/05/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4217 Humans are not animals? Since when? Humans are not animals? Since when?

]]> By: e major http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4215 e major Tue, 22 May 2007 21:27:09 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/2007/05/va-it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children-also-neglect-is-child-abuse/#comment-4215 "...even the dumbest human is smarter than an animal" Yeah I don't know if I can get behind this statement 100% “…even the dumbest human is smarter than an animal”

Yeah I don’t know if I can get behind this statement 100%

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