VA: Destructive Kids and Pick-up Truck Drama
Sep 26th, 2007
(16 votes, average: 2.5 out of 5)
Loading ...Wow and I thought I was morally corrupt! I read so many comments concerning this situation where people insisted I shouldn’t give Mr. Hick one red cent that I seriously […]
Original post: Destructive Kids and Pick-up Truck Drama
V, I like your punishment style. My nephew had a similar event at around age 6, he also got the impulse for wanton thoughtless destruction WORKED out of him, he had to make the repairs, etc. it was good for him. The only thing I’d add is that I’d rephrase this sentence: “As far as I’m concerned, 8 years old is a bit too young to be behaving this destructively.” Eight years old is a bit too OLD to be behaving this destructively, if you know what I mean. And as a “reprieve,” why not get your husband’s kid to read a few books. Will it be considered further punishment or a reward for good behavior?
#2 sounds vaguely familiar. Revisiting your childhood there, V?
V - If you and your husband are interested in having more time and/or custody with the children, this situation might actually help win over the judge. You can present the paperwork from the insurance company as proof the incident happened as well as your proposed punishment. Stressing that you received no disciplinary assistance from the biological mother weakens her position. In addition, judges and social workers *love* when parents are active in “scaring straight” delinquent kids.
Hm… Good for her, bad for us she went the “correct” way and tried to settle and then to the insurance company. But as she writes about morals quite often it’s good she shows a good example. Too often people (including me) are quilty of practising “don’t do what I do, do what I say”.
Viola: My thoughts exactly… :D
V. I’d agree with all the punishments except the first one. I worked as a police dispatcher for 19 years and believe me, the last thing a police officer wants to do is “scare” a child. Because then if the child is ever in need of an officer, (s)he would probably not turn to an policeman, seeing them as the bad guy/boogie man.
I agree with linda about not involving the police, for the reasons she states and because it’s not the police’s job to raise your kids.
I disagree about not involving a police officer. If you ask at the station, there’s usually several who are more than willing to help out with this kind of thing (especially on quieter days) because it acts as a virtually free crime-deterrent.
The officer doesn’t become a raving lunatic when he’s asked to talk to a kid, so the boy isn’t going to go into a panic attack whenever he sees the uniform in the future. Give them some credit here! Officers generally talk about how kids end up in juvenile and jail later, how often people are beat up in said institutions, etc, etc. (With a bit of flourish.) The proposed tour of juvie after would really hit it home. It’s a cold and sterile place and a lot of the kids there would love to scare “fresh meat” for fun.
Is it harsh? Maybe. But he’s already bashing in windows! The biological mother’s form of discipline is obviously not working out.
I am not sure that doing Extreme Home Makeover - make your home into San Quentin for your elementary schooler is quite called for.
I understand that there has been a trend towards leniency in recent years, and that discipline as we adults knew it has changed mightily since our youth.
But, I never in my life had a punishment like that nor knew anyone who was punished that strictly. We got our spankings, or our week’s restriction, but nothing like losing every bit of entertainment and recreation in your entire life at the age of 8 — and we did some pretty dumb stuff. And we all turned out ok, in spite of not being stripped of every enjoyable thing in our lives and sent out into the yard to break rocks in the hot sun every time we screwed up.
I will probably get modded down for this, but I just cringed when I read that description. I seriously could not imagine being 8 and having that punishment — for a day, maybe, tops. Beyond that it would have been the end of the world.
Yeah, I was a sensitive child. Sigh. Sorry to ramble on so.
lizard, i see your point, but did the “dumb stuff” you did as a child include the willful destruction of another persons property? this kid took a crowbar to the neighbors car. whats next? taking a crowbar to the neighbors cat? seems like as the discipline gets more lenient the crap kids do gets more violent and out of control.
punishment should fit the crime.
So at this rate maybe your great-great-grandkids will figure out how to treat children reasonably? You would end up encouraging the child to move the world to keep you from finding out that she/he fucked up. Insane punishments lead to more resentment and lying, not less misbehaving.
At least you wouldn’t be as bad as your mother.
I wish you were my mom.