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She was short and very, very pink. Her skin, closely resembling a full bottle of pepto-bismol, was constantly dueling with her bright orange hair over which color was more obnoxious. […]
Original post: Battle at the Bus Stop
I found the constant visual references, and colors mentioned to be a distraction from the story. In other words, they could’ve been left out.
Yeah, V is trying to be a ~good writer~ and it just doesn’t work.
I prefer her usual style of story-telling.
Also an odd use of the word ‘connotation’, and a seeming lack of any real conclusion.
I like this writing style. It looks like a script for a movie, or something. V should try more of these.
I don’t know. It doesn’t sound real for me. A girl so young having all these analytics toughts and reactions.
I’m not saying kids aren’t smart - but they don’t often analyze behaviours or feelings like V tells here.
Yeah, I know my English sucks, but that’s my opinion.