Comments on: VA: A Modern Day Convenience? Or Raping Your Friends for Fun and Profit? Examining the Intricacies of Gift Registries and Amazon Wish Lists http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/ violentacres.com feedback site Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:25:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Goldie http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11648 Goldie Sat, 28 Jun 2008 19:01:21 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11648 Waiterrant.net is one of the most educational sites out there on the subject of tipping. (As a bonus, the author is an incredibly good writer.) Personally, I eat out very infrequently, so I consider it a luxury, so on a rare occasion when I do eat out, I tip out my ass and teach my kids to do the same. Heck I was even able to train my husband to give 20%. lol Waiterrant.net is one of the most educational sites out there on the subject of tipping. (As a bonus, the author is an incredibly good writer.) Personally, I eat out very infrequently, so I consider it a luxury, so on a rare occasion when I do eat out, I tip out my ass and teach my kids to do the same. Heck I was even able to train my husband to give 20%. lol

]]> By: Mojonixon http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11645 Mojonixon Sat, 28 Jun 2008 12:53:51 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11645 Tipping does alot of things, all of them important in the service industry. It aligns your performance and your remuniration into one solid vector. In old times, a servant's well being was directly related to the generosity of their patron. So it is now, but most people dont have full time servants, so they have part time ones when they go to some establishments. Dont like to drop a buck for a tip to the bartender? Then stay the hell home and pour your own beer, its cheaper anyhow. Make your own goddamn coffee, cook your own goddamn meals or eat at fast food places and the like. The well being of the people who are tipped employees depends on you. Thats why being nice and decent to your servers almost always guarantees great service (unless you serve a certain customer base, you know what I mean...). Its a luxury, having someone wait on you. Cant afford it? Cut it out. And yeah, I wouldnt go to a wedding if I couldnt pick the bride or groom out of a police line up. Certainly wouldnt bring a gift. As a matter of fact, even as a spouse or SO, I wouldnt go to a wedding if I didnt know those involved. Thats not stricly true, I can see circumstances where I would go to a wedding without knowing the person, but its not a common or likely set of possibilities. But if someone is too dumb to realize that youre really not close enough to that person to justify going to any efort of their behalf, its up to you to disabuse them of that notion. Tipping does alot of things, all of them important in the service industry. It aligns your performance and your remuniration into one solid vector. In old times, a servant’s well being was directly related to the generosity of their patron. So it is now, but most people dont have full time servants, so they have part time ones when they go to some establishments.

Dont like to drop a buck for a tip to the bartender? Then stay the hell home and pour your own beer, its cheaper anyhow. Make your own goddamn coffee, cook your own goddamn meals or eat at fast food places and the like. The well being of the people who are tipped employees depends on you. Thats why being nice and decent to your servers almost always guarantees great service (unless you serve a certain customer base, you know what I mean…). Its a luxury, having someone wait on you. Cant afford it? Cut it out.

And yeah, I wouldnt go to a wedding if I couldnt pick the bride or groom out of a police line up. Certainly wouldnt bring a gift. As a matter of fact, even as a spouse or SO, I wouldnt go to a wedding if I didnt know those involved. Thats not stricly true, I can see circumstances where I would go to a wedding without knowing the person, but its not a common or likely set of possibilities.

But if someone is too dumb to realize that youre really not close enough to that person to justify going to any efort of their behalf, its up to you to disabuse them of that notion.

]]> By: Kimberly http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11643 Kimberly Sat, 28 Jun 2008 01:53:08 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11643 I'm tired of getting invites to weddings of people I barely know. Or the mean boss' kid is getting married and I'm expected to give a gift. I actually feel the same way about tipping. If someone takes a job and gets paid for it why do I have to give them a 'raise' or 'bonus'? I should have put a tip jar by my window when I was a receptionist at a doctor's office. Tipping would have given them better and nicer service. LOL! I’m tired of getting invites to weddings of people I barely know. Or the mean boss’ kid is getting married and I’m expected to give a gift.

I actually feel the same way about tipping. If someone takes a job and gets paid for it why do I have to give them a ‘raise’ or ‘bonus’? I should have put a tip jar by my window when I was a receptionist at a doctor’s office. Tipping would have given them better and nicer service. LOL!

]]> By: A. http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11600 A. Tue, 24 Jun 2008 02:22:03 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11600 Mary -- Your donation idea is lovely. People have done that before, and I see nothing wrong with it. Also, I'm sure it would get V's stamp of approval (hah!), Mary — Your donation idea is lovely. People have done that before, and I see nothing wrong with it. Also, I’m sure it would get V’s stamp of approval (hah!),

]]> By: Mary http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11571 Mary Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:57:22 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11571 Just found VA, and I love her. Him. Them. Whatever. So I'm getting married in August after living together for five years. We have a house and all the stuff in the house, like the blender and the deep fat fryer and towels and plates and silverware and shit. I told my fiance that I don't want people to bring gifts to the wedding. In fact, we haven't registered anywhere. Traditionally, gifts are to help the young bride and groom set up house. So... in light of this post, how in the world should I put it on my wedding invitations? "No gifts, please, we already have all the shit we need." Here's what I'm thinking: I'm thinking of instead including "In Lieu of Gifts, Please Make a Donation to the Sacramento Children's Home." But this still makes it seem like gifts were expected. Since I know that my guests are already in the mindset to buy a gift, I'd much rather let them know I don't want anything and I'd rather-- if they were planning on spending money at all on a gift-- put that money to better use to buy shit for orphans and at risk youth. What does VA think, I wonder. I'm desperate for her approval. Just found VA, and I love her. Him. Them. Whatever.

So I’m getting married in August after living together for five years. We have a house and all the stuff in the house, like the blender and the deep fat fryer and towels and plates and silverware and shit.

I told my fiance that I don’t want people to bring gifts to the wedding. In fact, we haven’t registered anywhere. Traditionally, gifts are to help the young bride and groom set up house. So… in light of this post, how in the world should I put it on my wedding invitations? “No gifts, please, we already have all the shit we need.”

Here’s what I’m thinking: I’m thinking of instead including “In Lieu of Gifts, Please Make a Donation to the Sacramento Children’s Home.” But this still makes it seem like gifts were expected.

Since I know that my guests are already in the mindset to buy a gift, I’d much rather let them know I don’t want anything and I’d rather– if they were planning on spending money at all on a gift– put that money to better use to buy shit for orphans and at risk youth.

What does VA think, I wonder. I’m desperate for her approval.

]]> By: Kaylara http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11529 Kaylara Sat, 14 Jun 2008 15:52:28 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11529 I greatly enjoyed this post. I'm the kind of person who prefers to give self-made presents, and many a friend and family member has gotten drawings, paintings, scarfs, etc. from me. Happily, the people in my life know better than to try that wish list/gift registry shit on me. For my bachelorette party, we went to a bar and drank. I got no presents, and I told them that I the best present was that they came and we had fun. I didn't have a wedding shower, as I had already been living with my soon to be husband, and we had everything that we needed. The only thing that we did do was specifically ask for money instead of presents at our wedding. But we had a practical reason for it: we had to fly back to Europe from the US afterwards, and there was just no room in our luggage for a whole bunch of presents. But we also stipulated that people were in no way required to bring a present, and that it would be gift enough for us if the joined us on our wedding day. But I'm a freak like that. I grew up in a family where presents were not a given, and you'd better be appreciative of whatever you got. You should be happy that they thought of you and came to say happy birthday or whatever. Who cares about the presents??? Then again, my husband and I also plan on giving our children boxes and tissue paper for birthdays and Yule for the first several years of their lives. They'll enjoy it more than any other gift you could buy for them! I greatly enjoyed this post. I’m the kind of person who prefers to give self-made presents, and many a friend and family member has gotten drawings, paintings, scarfs, etc. from me. Happily, the people in my life know better than to try that wish list/gift registry shit on me. For my bachelorette party, we went to a bar and drank. I got no presents, and I told them that I the best present was that they came and we had fun.
I didn’t have a wedding shower, as I had already been living with my soon to be husband, and we had everything that we needed. The only thing that we did do was specifically ask for money instead of presents at our wedding. But we had a practical reason for it: we had to fly back to Europe from the US afterwards, and there was just no room in our luggage for a whole bunch of presents. But we also stipulated that people were in no way required to bring a present, and that it would be gift enough for us if the joined us on our wedding day.
But I’m a freak like that. I grew up in a family where presents were not a given, and you’d better be appreciative of whatever you got. You should be happy that they thought of you and came to say happy birthday or whatever. Who cares about the presents???

Then again, my husband and I also plan on giving our children boxes and tissue paper for birthdays and Yule for the first several years of their lives. They’ll enjoy it more than any other gift you could buy for them!

]]> By: al http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11515 al Thu, 12 Jun 2008 21:16:24 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11515 LOL @ #34 illadia -- True. But at least Sarah's amusing. She's trying so hard to justify herself to perfect strangers, and failing. LOL @ #34 illadia — True. But at least Sarah’s amusing. She’s trying so hard to justify herself to perfect strangers, and failing.

]]> By: Sarah http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11513 Sarah Thu, 12 Jun 2008 11:53:01 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11513 I actually always tip, and tip rather well to boot. I do not tip, however, out of obligation or because I feel sorry for the waiter/waitress that is making less than minimum wage. I'm also very forgiving of mistakes, even if they are the waiter/waitresses fault. I understand what it's like to work in a restaurant and I don't expect them to be perfect, but I tip exceptionally well when they are perfect. Just because I explained what the definition of a 'tip' was does not mean I do not tip. Just as V described what a gift was and how greedy it is to expect them, but talks about how she adores giving gifts to people. The only simple people here are the ones assuming things about people after only reading a few sentences of a comment. I actually always tip, and tip rather well to boot. I do not tip, however, out of obligation or because I feel sorry for the waiter/waitress that is making less than minimum wage. I’m also very forgiving of mistakes, even if they are the waiter/waitresses fault. I understand what it’s like to work in a restaurant and I don’t expect them to be perfect, but I tip exceptionally well when they are perfect.

Just because I explained what the definition of a ‘tip’ was does not mean I do not tip. Just as V described what a gift was and how greedy it is to expect them, but talks about how she adores giving gifts to people. The only simple people here are the ones assuming things about people after only reading a few sentences of a comment.

]]> By: Kph http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11511 Kph Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:54:40 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11511 I always tip, for me 10% means "you suck, but at least you showed up to work today." That's if the service sucked, not the factors that are out of the server's control (slow kitchen, etc). The one time I didn't leave a tip at all was due to the most hellaciously bad service I have ever received, anywhere - the waitress did everything short of taking a shit on my plate, so no tip, and a talk with the manager was in order. If the service is really, really awful, then talk to the manager, don't just withhold the tip. I always tip, for me 10% means “you suck, but at least you showed up to work today.” That’s if the service sucked, not the factors that are out of the server’s control (slow kitchen, etc).

The one time I didn’t leave a tip at all was due to the most hellaciously bad service I have ever received, anywhere - the waitress did everything short of taking a shit on my plate, so no tip, and a talk with the manager was in order. If the service is really, really awful, then talk to the manager, don’t just withhold the tip.

]]> By: illadia http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11508 illadia Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:18:53 +0000 http://www.violentacrestalk.com/va-a-modern-day-convenience-or-raping-your-friends-for-fun-and-profit-examining-the-intricacies-of-gift-registries-and-amazon-wish-lists/#comment-11508 al- Sarah won't be able to answer that question. Sue won't either. They're both simple morons. al- Sarah won’t be able to answer that question. Sue won’t either. They’re both simple morons.

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