VA: Quick and Easy Child Support Reform
Nov 28th, 2007
(26 votes, average: 2.58 out of 5)
Loading ...My feelings about the current child support system have been well documented. However, I have never stated how much, specifically, I think a woman is entitled to receive if I […]
Original post: Quick and Easy Child Support Reform
I suspect fewer women would have children in the first place, if there was no child support system.
I think we’ve all heard of some women using children as a means of financial support. First from the “father”, and second from welfare.
Those children — who are neglected by mom, because they’re only a paycheck — grow up to be a burden for the rest of us.
most “single” people couldn’t afford to have a child alone, but if they get married, share a home, build a savings- they can. Idealy marriage is about cooperation.
Agreed.
And I’m a woman.
Maybe that is the first step to making sure total idiots quit procreating?
*sigh* I wish…
I just want to say that I work in a bar part- time and I have seen many women using their state issued child support debit cards to pay for a night of drinking with their friends. That makes me sick. I don’t think all single parents misuse their money though.
Many women abuse the child-support system for their own gain, and many men show no interest whatsoever in supporting their children. Funny thing: sometimes people of BOTH genders fall down on their responsibilities. In fact, I bet you the number of deadbeat dads is about equal to the number of mercenary moms! Shocking.
Frankly, I’ve been hearing this shit for at least a decade. The Misanthropic Bitch got here first and it’s only gotten duller since then. Can we all just agree that there’s abuse on both sides, and move on toward trying to figure out how the child can get the best deal?
Solution: http://www.vhemt.org/
I think we all know that it’s socially irresponsible of anyone to think that there is always one perfect solution for each thing wrong with the world today. And if you truly know what goes on in all segments of the family courts, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Yes we’d all love to eradicate the loser-swindlers that V describes, but there are still good people in this world put into rotten situations that could never be prevented that this solution would totally devastate. Yes, I speak from experience, but not of my own.
A small correction- many people whose parents die when they are under 18 do receive money. My boyfriend’s mother died when he was 10 and although his father was able to support him and his siblings, the children received small social security checks until they were 18 for her contributions to the system.
Overall, though, I think this is a good idea. I worked at a restaurant with 18 year old twins whose parents had passed away. One had graduated high school and was going to college, lived on her own, worked hard to pay her way through everything. The other was always late, had a bad attitude, and blew her money on drinking and pot. However, she had a child, so she was able to continue this with government money. When my friend (the college bound one) tried to apply for financial aid, she was actually told if she wanted more money she should have a child.
Traditionally, it takes 2 people to make a baby. They are both responsible for raising the child. Food, shelter, and clothing should be the very least that is provided for the child until the child can make their own way.
Would you take your dog and drop him off next door, then, tell your neighbors that you’ll be by from time to time to play with him. Meanwhile you’ll not pay a cent for the food the dog eats or any of the bills that are required to be paid to keep the roof over his head or the grooming, medical, training, etc?
I don’t think that’s right. You took the responsibility to own the dog. You are now that dog’s provider.
Same with children, you spread your legs or you nailed that chick. You are responsible for the outcome.
There are the same amount of women who abuse the system to soak every last dime out of their ex as there are the men who think they are benevolent and giving every time they see fit to grace their child’s mother with a paltry support payment whenever she calls up and begs for help raising their son.
She doesn’t want to go to court to force the father to pay as she thinks it’s important the child has a father in their life and doesn’t want to do anything to make him not want to see his son.
Sound like V is graced with a system abusing woman.
I’m a step-father to my fiance’s son. I’m grace by a dead beat father. The kind of deadbeat who, after 10 years of not having to pay child support, (despite receiving his son’s mother begging & pleading phone calls or his son’s mother taking on 4 jobs to cover the bills, or having his parents support his son instead of him) tried to claim bankruptcy when he was finally taken to court to pay support.
I’m an advocate of both parents being responsible. The woman wasn’t the only one there the night the child was conceived.
Please don’t give these people ideas, VA! Now you have them all thinking, “Oh, that’s a good point. What if my ex-husband dies? Let’s updated the support laws that says our ex-husbands MUST purchase a large life insurance policy with us as the beneficiary!”
Guessing Bobbi Jo must not be using the child support in full accordance with the Gospel According to Little Cindy Lou Who? Christ, what *must* it be like to feel helpless against someone being so unethical and unfair. Can someone give the state of PA a shout?
I think this is pure comedy if only for the reason that my mother and I were discussing the exact same thing this evening ^.^
We both work for the child support office and we were both are in total agreement with V. Too bad very few others in this area don’t feel that way -.-
The solution: DON’T HAVE KIDS!
> What would you do if your ex-husband died?
Live on the insurance, d’uh!
My only issue with V’s philosophy on this is that humans, as a species, aren’t really set up for this.
If you looked at the animals where individual parents successfully raise offspring, the adults of the species are usually entirely solitary throughout adulthood, except for mating. The major adaption of social animals is that they are social- i.e. if they fail, their offspring do not simply die, but are supported by the larger network of a society.
An extreme example would be arguing that bees shouldn’t reproduce because the Queen can’t care for all her offspring on her own, so the colony is doomed to fail. Obviously this is not the case, as bees and other hive/colony species exist and thrive.
It’s ridiculous to assume that one custody/financial aid arrangement would work for all people.
I agree that the courts should not be so quick to grant full custody and tons of money to the mother based on her motherhood, but I do not agree that no financial support should ever be demanded of any party.
Ideally, I think that a court should not be where custody is determined. Parents SHOULD be reasonable enough to work that out between themselves. Personally I count myself very lucky in that respect. My parents got along despite my father ditching my family to have another three kids with a 20-year-old girl in a foreign country. They never said anything bad about each other and never went to court, even though my father only paid child support for two months.
if i could do a slow clap over the net i would.
I am a “victim” of the child support system and all it benefited me was realizing my father was a good man who tried and was failed by the system. and Knowing my mother was a lazy b***h who manipulated a lot of people just so she could stay LAZY.
Because of this i know to keep my peenie in place but since i have been reading VA i have tried to get Men to stand up for themselves.
it is sad to hear the beat-down-bird-dog statements from most but some still try.
V, I might not be bright enough to fuggur out your address but if you read this, know you helped a lost soul realize he was not as alone and lost in the world as he thought he was. peace to you and yours and many thanks.
Speaking as a single divorced parent of two who works two jobs for which I am horribly overqualified, earning a mere pittance, I am offended at the assumption that my ex should not be paying child support.
He and I chose to have children together, and in doing so he chose to be responsible for them , but then he changed his mind and he chose to leave for greener pastures thus shirking his financial and emotional obligations to said children. He would like all the benefits and accolades associated with being a dad, with absolutely none of the responsibility.
I have spent the last seven years defending my children and myself in court and out. I have shouldered the full burden of their emotional and physical well being, and made every attempt to provide the best care for them that is humanly possible. This I have done on my own, with amazing support from friends. I have been victimized ( and through this my children too are victimized) each time I attempt to better my life and that of my kids, my ex husband creates a full scale war usually in court, thus causing financial hardship in my children’s lives. He is never happier than when I am poor and struggling.
It is because of my personal experience I have to disagree with your no child support stand. My dream is to some day not have to rely on the support, that I can do it on my own and sock away the child support that I sometimes receive to help with the kids education, or something of the sort.
In an ideal world, two parents love and support each other and the children they bring into the world. Until we have and ideal world single parents be they male or female need all of the help they can get.