VA: The Pentecostal Church and The Holy Ghost Want You To Wear Pig Panties
Sep 10th, 2007
(23 votes, average: 3.35 out of 5)
Loading ...During the crisis that was my Mother’s dating life, she became involved with a man named Ron who was extremely religious. Ron was a very devout member of the Pentecostal […]
Original post: The Pentecostal Church and The Holy Ghost Want You To Wear Pig Panties
Huhuhuhuh, V said “nigger”.
Seriously, Pentecostals creep the holy shit out of me.
I forgot where I read it but when the religious get into a frenzy their brain releases chemicals that give them a high. They’re all fucking drug addicts- Not that I’m against that but the hypocrisy is BS.
Maybe it’s endorphins
best VA i’ve read in a while. completely hilarious.
I’ll always remember my first and only visit to a friend’s Pentecostal church. I’d never been comfortable with organized religion, though this was years before I became a confirmed atheist. I was raised methodist, a faith that’s pretty sedate where I live. People sat politely in their pews at church, sang when they were told to sing, and prayed repeating after the pastor when he asked him to.
Oh but those pentecostals. They were always trying to get people to go to their church whether or not that person went to another church. I guess they thought they had the direct line to God or something and that everyone else was going to hell regardless of their faith. My friend would try to invite me over on Saturdays so that I would be forced to go on Sundays. I was always savvy enough to avoid the trap until one fateful day when my parents had to go out of town and I found myself stuck staying with my friend for two nights instead of one.
I’d never seen people throwing themselves through the air, throwing themselves to the ground, throwing themselves on one another, and generally acting like complete idiots while speaking in complete and total gibberish. This wasn’t how people worshipped God. Didn’t they know that they all looked like fools? Didn’t they know that according to their theology God and the devil both had super mind reading powers and ‘ol satan could probably understand what they meant even if they were speaking in tongues to try and deceive him?
That was one of the nails in the coffin on my faith in God that day, second only to sitting down and reading the Bible cover to cover.
hey
i found this site with stumble and this is honestly one of the funniest things i have ever read. i fell off my chair laffing. i actually go to one of these churches except we are a little less strict. we can cut our hair, use deodorants and all that stuff. and its crazier than the church you describe. we have rock music. it is awesome. and it also teaches people about God. its more than just religion but a relationship and a way of living. if you are ever in aust look us up. hillsong church. we also have a myspace! check it out
http://myspace.com/hillsong
cya later :D
I attend a pentecostal church, we used to be more like the church V describes, now we are more like the other traditional churches around us. I sure do miss the way we were. As far as some of the comments above. We never thought we were fooling the devil when speaking in tongues. It is better to act like a fool when you are not drunk, you get to remember it better. Hypocrisy, that word is sure easy to throw around, most people who use it have no idea of what it really means. Part of the reason there is so much trouble with drug and alcohol addictions, is most people try so hard to be “normal”. They have to get drunk to have fun.
As far as trying to convert everyone to their religion, if you like something it is natural to want everyone else to have what you have. I can’t speak for other churches, but our church thinks of the other churches in our community as friends and allies, we do not try to rob their membership, we try to support them. Sometimes are members move on to their church, and sometimes they move over to ours. This is OK because no one church can meet the needs of every personality. God is the same, the people are different.
So I am crazy and a little foolish, the Methodist Church bores me silly, I won’t go there, but I am in awe of the faith of some of the people that do. Different personalities, same God.
That was the dumbest thing I have ever read. I grew up Pentcostal and I am still Pentecostal. Church is not some crazy thing where the kids flip each other off and everyone acts stupid. We give praise to Jesus for saving our soul and dying on the cross for our sins. I have never heard a preacher say that women should not where deodorant or perfume, that is just junk this guy made up. I openly invite all you to visit a church in your area and see for yourself.
Very funny - very scary.
My only brush with Pentacostals was when I moved to Champagne, Illinois to take a job.
I was invited to an Episcopal church - very pretty, all stone, like a small cathedral.
Everything was tame until after the offering and then all hell broke loose! It was the strangest thing I’d ever seen - Pentacostals in full flight in a stately stone church.
I got up and left and haven’t been to a church service (other than a funeral or wedding) since!
I attended a pentecostal church for a while as an adult for the simple reason that it was very entertaining. Well I guess thats redundant but a great observation by the author.
I attended a Pentecostal church when I was about seven years old, with a friend from school…most frightening experience of my childhood. I was raised catholic, so you can imagine, I’m sure, what a difference that was…people falling down, crying, shaking, mooing and oinking…gah! I saw another one as a teenager, with people jumping in the air and passing out cold.
My MIL is one, too, and she thinks it’s perfectly normal to make animal sounds and pass out at church. I wonder if it’s why they don’t drink, or a consequence?
Funniest thing I’ve read in a while, mostly because it’s sooo true. Grew up in Assembly of God church and we kids did the exact same thing. Thankfully most of us escaped the church’s influence when we grew up!
I grew up Pentecostal - most of what your said is true (I hate to admit…). I am thankful for it - it helped me to grow up with a sense of morality - it worked for me. I attend a Baptist church now. Much more sedate…Pentecostals love women & porno (sometimes thy neighbors wife….especially the pastors) - some of our youth pastor’s molest underage girl - but praise god we don’t rape altarboys!
Only recently have we started going gay too. Pastor Haggard….
I hate to admit it - but it is true….
How can I defend our arrogance?
We became “organized” and “educated” and now we behave like everybody else - I call it “presidential”
I still love God and His son, Jesus Christ
Well beth, I PRAY that you come back to know christ as lord he made you and has a divine purpose 4 u! all of you i can understand how you can come to the conclussion that this is a load of crap! YEA SOME IS SOME CHURCHES DO SEEM TO HAVE EXTREAME WAYS OF GOING ABOUT THINGS! but the fact is that god made you and gave u free will to choose who you will follow te choice is yours alone! WHAT WILL YOU CHOOSE? the 1 who made you or the world? DON’T THINK THAT WE DON’T HAVE FUN! i have lived both worlds and found that life is so much better when you are living for god! but then again i see what you mean… living 70 years more @ least on this earth is so worth living without god n it and not spending eternity with him… your maker who knew you b4 u were born
so go ahead and leave your comments….. but god is always there when u need him most just call out 2 him I AM PRAYING 4 all of u!
I feel at times there is some thing quiet perverse behind alot these groups (pentecostal, charismatic, new life) . At times they are simply falling into spiritualism.