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“don’t do what I do, do what I say” - Sami

Archive for July, 2007

Even as a 4 year old child, I idolized my Father. They say that mimicry is the sincerest (and most annoying) form of flattery, so I tried my best to […]
Original post: Want to Stop Your Children From Smoking? Scar Them for Life!

I’ve always been a bit of an animal lover.
Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not one of those PETA freaks. Just because I love animals doesn’t mean I won’t eat […]
Original post: There Will be No Justice Until Michael Vick Ends Up in a Jail Cell

Would it encourage the rumors that I am actually a man if I admit I think this website is hysterically funny?
Yeah?
Oh well then.
Original post: Men are Better Than Women

People have often described me as a blogger. I generally shy away from the term because, to me, bloggers are boring, self obsessed narcissists who use their website mainly as […]
Original post: Bloggers are so Cliche

There are two situations in life where having a kid in tow is absolutely invaluable. They are as follows:
1. When you’ve lost your ID, but you absolutely, positively need a […]
Original post: Waiting in Line for the New Harry Potter Book is the Very Definition of Shame

Someone asked me what my formula is when calculating the profitability of a rental property, so I thought I’d post it. But before I do that, I just want to […]
Original post: Formula For Calculating the Profitability of a Rental Property

Friend:  I watched a television show last night about these people who had sextuplets.
V:  Ugh, 6 babies? How terrible.
Friend:  I know! If my girlfriend ever got pregnant with 6 babies, […]
Original post: Which is Worse: Sextuplets or Prison?

“Her belly is a little bloated, don’t you think?” my brother asked.
He was referring to my dog. At this particular moment, she was lounging next to me on the living […]
Original post: Searching For Tapeworms

Time and time again I’ve had the displeasure of reading various bloggers on the Internet bemoan their critics by mournfully questioning, “Why would you read my website if you hate […]
Original post: Fuck Utopia; Hating Things is FUN

Why don’t I ever get any hate mail? Seriously, if anyone on the Internet deserves a poorly worded death threat, it’s me. But oddly enough, I’ve not yet received anything […]
Original post: Sleazy Tricks Real Estate Agents Often Try

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