VA: I Hate Birds (And God Too, If He Exists)
Apr 3rd, 2007
(8 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)
Loading ...When the weather is as beautiful as it is right now, I spend a lot of time outside walking. Yesterday, I got a little carried away on my afternoon stroll […]
Original post: I Hate Birds (And God Too, If He Exists)
“no amount of bird shit in the world can convince me to ignore my deeply ingrained manners.”
Deeply ingrained manners my ass. Heh, actually, I understand. I bitch and swear like a sailor but I have perfect manners when I feel like it.
Take an umbrella V. I bet you get carried away to the land of Oz.
V, you did this to yourself. All you had to do was stop one step before or after you did, and the “perfectly aimed” shot would have missed entirely. Now, considering you threw out the classmate’s number, you never really wanted to talk to or even see her. Which would explain why you subconsiously stood in the exact spot where the bird was about to shit - you wanted to look bad in front of the “from-high-school-girl” so that she’d leave you alone. :)
V, I think you should be relieved that getting shat upon by a birt is a pretty rare occurence - I can remember only one time that happened to me… in New York in front of Zabars. In 1976. Although a bird crapped on my cousin last Saturday.
I was a tiny bit miffed when you said you threw away the shirt just because of a little bird doo - but I’ve thrown away shirts on less provocation.
And then I was a tiny bit miffed again when you said you threw the old school mate’s phone number away too - but then I remembered that there are people from my high school I wouldn’t hold a conversation with under threat of torture! (I actually crossed the street and hid in a store one time to avoid talking to a casual acquaintance!)
Well, this has been pretty boring of me so ta!
I don’t believe in god either but I have seen plenty of anecdotal evidence for karma and synchronicity. The bird shit would be karma and the school mate is synchronicity. Just remember when all is said and done weird shit does happen.
Threw the shirt away because it got bird shit on it? Drastic.
The phrase that comes to my mind every time I have to deal with poop, snot, barf, etc. was uttered happily by my legendary college room mate - as he reached down into a sink full of puke to unclog the drain:
“It’s alright…it’s all organic!”
You could have saved a little walking. I’m sure the friend had some baby wipes on her you could have leeched.
Getting shit on by a bird has to be one of the funnies things nature can provide us, also a dog humping someone’s leg. Once my little brother (19 at the time) had a bird shit right on his face. He just looked at me and my cousin, asked in all seriousness….”Did a bird just shit on my face?” I proceeded to laugh so hard tears came down my cheek. It was the second Thanksgiving without my grandfather and the funny part is that one of his beloved birds, that he cared for so deeply, shit right on his grandson’s face. We just joked that animals are a good judge of character. Maybe the bird was trying to tell him something?!?!
Maybe the bird was trying to tell V something?